My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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