we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
