So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
