I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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