nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
