dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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