need another drink. this is the easiest way
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
