I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
