You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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