So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
