Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
