i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
