can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're a waste of cheezeits
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
