I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize