I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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