TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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