Dual....:-)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
