drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
