Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
love makes seman taste better
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
