This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
