if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
