I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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