I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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