She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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