I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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