We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
