I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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