Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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