Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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