How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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