Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
