any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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