That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
