Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
