Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
