and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
