Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
