Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We're too hungover to prance.
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