I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my vagina is haunted
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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