ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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