Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
