My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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