Are we in a gay sports bar?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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