You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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