so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
