My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
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Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
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She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important