spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?