I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
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It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.