Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
