Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks

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  (901): Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks http://tfl.nu/a6p7
  Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (1892)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  you're right.

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  (414): so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment. (262): you're right. http://tfl.nu/ypcs
  Replies (18) Good night (2438) Bad night (873)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Who did Billy Mays play for?

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  (732): Who did Billy Mays play for? http://tfl.nu/wvwr
  Replies (33) Good night (686) Bad night (4182)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.

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  (847): Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better. http://tfl.nu/ewir
  Replies (17) Good night (3228) Bad night (704)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?

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  (720): My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this? http://tfl.nu/za6z
  Replies (18) Good night (5994) Bad night (973)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

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  (609): How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone? http://tfl.nu/ubfa
  Replies (5) Good night (2707) Bad night (994)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.

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  (917): And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating. http://tfl.nu/qged
  Replies (19) Good night (5662) Bad night (1581)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine

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  (412): a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine http://tfl.nu/k37h
  Replies (12) Good night (3514) Bad night (907)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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  (208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa
  Replies (10) Good night (2610) Bad night (1068)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.

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  (808): Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful. http://tfl.nu/6ueo
  Replies (10) Good night (2369) Bad night (853)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.

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  (+44): I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/4in5
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (1341)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  ...

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  (678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo
  Replies (8) Good night (1421) Bad night (628)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Rumble strips road head = magical

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  (812): Rumble strips road head = magical http://tfl.nu/39lc
  Replies (7) Good night (1502) Bad night (440)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...

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  (814): My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away... http://tfl.nu/ltxy
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (369)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

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  (506): That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room http://tfl.nu/htix
  Replies (0) Good night (279) Bad night (273)

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