sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dating After Heartbreak
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.