Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

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(541): View more from Oregon

He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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(817): View more from Texas

I showed him my bush... on skype.

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(636): View more from Missouri

FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.

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(224): View more from Illinois

U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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(917): View more from New York City

its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.

(843): View more from South Carolina

Why is this not a picture message?

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