so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...