erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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