i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
