tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
