11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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