Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
