did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize