Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
