She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
