we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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