I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
