Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
