2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was born a porn star she said
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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