I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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