Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i believe in u and ur pee
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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