i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
