I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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