Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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