Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
