It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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