WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
