So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
