Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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