if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
